Why Being Feminine is Not Working

I know I got your attention with that because every dating and relationship expert talks about being in your feminine, as I do also.

However, there is a key ingredient that you must have before you can be feminine.

In order to be feminine,  you need to be vulnerable and open.  And it is challenging to be vulnerable and open when you have sabotaging beliefs.

You can read books and listen to podcast on being feminine all day long, but it won’t work until you change the internal message about yourself, about men and relationships.

These beliefs can be “I am not lovable”, “I am unsafe”, “I am unworthy”, “I can’t deal with the pain of being hurt again”, “I am broken”,  “There is something wrong with me”, “Men hurt you”, “relationships hurt you ” and on and on…..we all have them.

I know I had a huge wall up being hurt from my Dad at a young age.  When I was in this course with colleagues, I found out later they had nickname for me.  The Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz… the man without a heart.   Jeez, when I found that out, I was so shocked.  I did not know that I was so shut down.  How wonder I was still single for over 15 years.   I had been so hurt at an early age and protected myself by closing my heart   I could not bear anymore let downs or heartaches so I pushed men away by being masculine.  I remember a time when a man tried to butter my bread, and I was like “I can butter my own bread” grabbing the knife from him.  It was instinctual to protect myself..that little girl who had been hurt.  And learned that little girl thinking was sabotaging me and I created new internal messaging that allowed me to open my heart, be feminine, be the queen and attract a my king…my amazing husband Jim.

You can be in our feminine by starting to change your internal messaging that is empowering,  open your heart, be vulnerable and feminine.

  • First, it takes courage and a commitment to want to change.
  • Practicing being aware of the limiting beliefs.  We cannot change until we know what we need to change.
  • Write down the belief and list underneath of how this could be false.   For example:  “men hurt me”  – this can be false statement that there are some men in my life that have not hurt me.   There are good men.
  • Change the old sabotaging belief to a new belief – new message. There are men that are loving.   I am lovable, I am worthy, I am amazing, I can love, there are men that can love me, and I am whole and complete just as I am.
  • Now, write it down and say this to yourself morning and night.

I know you can do it!  Let me know what new belief you came up with.


If you find you are struggling with what your sabotaging beliefs, let’s talk. We can discuss those beliefs and how you can change them.   Book that free call here!

Much Love

Kim Quick
Love & Relationship Expert