Wen you meet someone you like, it’s normal to turn a blind eye to certain things, especially if you’re really into them.

He is checking a lot of the boxes – attractive, financial stable, chemistry, and he is a nice guy.​​

You have on the googly eye googles..​​   ?   It seems this could be the one..

but wait…

Is He really ready for a relationship and or relationship material type of guy?

Do we really stop and asked ourselves this question before we get in too deep?

You don’t want to waste your time with the wrong man and get hurt again.

And a lot of the time you might of felt something was off instinctively or you heard something and your gut tensed and you know that was a red flag.  But we ignore that niggle or make an excuse for it.​​

You really want to honor yourself and those red flags and asked more questions.   Don’t be afraid to get more clarity.  

I think a part of your knows to do this but fears come up that you might come across too strong, hurt his feelings or rock the boat and he may leave.​​ 

But here is the thing, you want to see if you can ask questions and get clarity in a feminine way and see how he responds.   This is what is going to tell us if he is relationship material. 

​​​​​​So to avoid getting in too deep with a man that is not really ready for a relationship, here are some early relationship red flags to look for and to speak up about. 

1.  He will say that he is not ready to be in a relationship.   However, we ignore this thinking that he will change his mind overtime once he gets to know you more. ​​   Ask him why he is not ready for a relationship and when does he see himself in one. 

2.  He had a recent breakup ​​and he tells you he still not over it and afraid to get back into a relationship.  Run for the hills from this one.   There is no clarity on this.  

3.  He is controlling and/or possessive.   ​He will complain that you don’t spend enough time with him or tell you how you should be spending your time and what you should be doing.  At first, you might think that this is cute and he likes you, but this could be a very serious narcissus. 

4.  He is flaky.  One minute he is calling and wanting to be with you and then poof! you don’t hear from him in a couple weeks. 

5.  You are having lots of conversations and texts but he is not asking you out. 

6.  He does not honor your feelings and says things like “you are being to sensitive” when you do express how you feel. 

7.  He will not change at all and  he is not into personal growth. 

8.  He does not do things for you and try to make you happy with what you desire in a relationship.

9.  ​​​​​​ He bad mouths his ex.   Yes, relationships end badly and we’ll probably always have negative feelings about that person. But if your date’s bad-mouthing their ex every chance they get, it’s a good sign they have serious issues and they cannot take responsibility for the actions.   He should be saying ” we were both responsible and I learned a lot”

​10.  He want to move too fast and does not honor your feelings when you ask him to slow down.

11.  He does not make time for you and does not plan dates to see you.  ​​​ When a man is ready for a relationship and likes you, it does not matter if he is busy at work or his family, he will make time for you and will talk about your future even if it is planning a mini vacation. 

12.  He does not want to talk about his future or when you bring it up he deflects.  And this can be any personal question for that matter.  It feels like you cannot get a straight answer out of him. ​​

13.  You notice that you cannot really be yourself and relaxed around him.   You are afraid of asking questions or worrying about bringing him around your friends. ​​   

14.   You are not able to communicate and talk about more serious things about each other.  You notice that you talk about more surface level topics. 

 So, if you are dating, I would recommend printing this out and reading it on a weekly basis to keep yourself in check to discern the wrong men and focus on dating the right man for you leading to your forever love!

Sending you a big hug!